Sayla Reads Twilight
by DaughterOfPhoenix
Summary: Sayla is a bookworm. Everyone knows that. So when she finds the Twilight Saga in her library, she is curious and reads it. She really, really wishes that she hadn't.


**Now, I was just in the mood.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fairy Tail. If I did, Jerza would be canon, the Oración Seis would get more screen time, and Sayla and Kyouka would be official.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight (gladly not). If I did, I would be too ashamed to publish it.**

 **WARNING: If you are a Twilight fan, get the heck off this fic. I warned that this would be a Twilight bashing fic, so I don't want to get any shit from anyone.**

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SAYLA READS TWILIGHT

Sayla, the Goddess of the Chill Moon, one of the Nine Demon Gates and one of the greatest magical warriors in existence (yes, she didn't use magic, she used Curse power, but whatever.) was greatly confounded.

The bookworm of a demon knew every single book in her abode (which was saying a lot, since there were a ton of books) and she was absolutely sure that there hadn't been a series of books called 'The Twilight Saga' on her shelf before.

Well... The covers seemed interesting enough... And there were no assignments yet... So Sayla picked up the first book, turned it in her hands, sat down and began to read.

 **EIGHT HOURS LATER**

"Sayla?"

Kyouka poked her head into the room where Sayla usually spent most of her time. "Sayla?" Her voice softened. "Are you okay?"

The demon was staring in horrified shock at the book in her hands. She was breathing hard. With a furious flick of her hand, she cast her Macro on it and flung it into the wall, then began banging it on the floor, eyes flashing. Three other books flew off the ground and began to get the same treatment.

"...Sayla?"

"Kyouka-sama!" Sayla spun around, but didn't stop slamming the books against the floor.

Kyouka was confused. Sayla usually loved her books, and now she was obviously trying to murder the books and beat the living shit out of them. Also, she was usually a calm individual, and now she looked like she was going to do her limit release just to destroy these books once and for all.

"What's going on?" asked Kyouka, walking into the room and staring at the books which were now pretty wrecked. If she had been the book... the Demon of Pain shuddered to think of it.

"This. Is. Stupid."

Sayla was fuming, bringing the books closer to total oblivion with every word she said.

"The book? Books?" asked Kyouka. Sayla was usually the one who tried to calm people down.. Not the other way around.

"Yes!" Sayla finally stopped trying to murder the books and stomped on one with a final huff. "I'm scarred. Traumatized."

"Is it really that bad..?"

"Yes. It is the stupidest, most idiotic vampire love story which defies the very laws of the cosmos that I've ever had the misfortune to read!" Sayla ranted.

Kyouka stared at her before saying, "Aren't vampires... Bloodsucking monsters?"

"They are!" growled Sayla, her eyes flaring black fire. "But not in this sorry excuse for newborn baby scribbling on a piece of paper during a tantrum and publishing the result! Vampires are supposed to be bloodsucking, meat-eating monsters... And in this book, they are vegetarian, rapist, sparkling dirtbags who are unnaturally beautiful!"

"Even the... guys?" Kyouka tried to process Sayla's statement. _Vegetarian rapist sparkling dirtbags?_

"They're all so Mary-Sue!" Sayla hissed. " _All of them!_ "

"Mary-Sue?" Kyouka was unfamiliar with the term.

"A character that is perfect and flawless in every way, whom everyone loves," said Sayla angrily. "A character that completely ruins the plotline, especially if they're the main character."

"Oh. I see." Kyouka decided never to let this term leak out to Mard Geer. It could lead to disaster.

"And the werewolves!"

"Werewolves?" Kyouka had thought that werewolves were people who shifted into wolves during the full moon and went completely feral then. In fact, she had tried to get Lamy to install that ability in some of their lesser demons, but had ended up having to pay around fifty billion jewels for all the damage caused.

Mard Geer hadn't been able to get himself to smell normal for a whole _month_ after that incident.

"They shift! At will! And they aren't feral!"

Kyouka decided enough was enough. If they continued like this, then all of the demons would be drawn to the source, and she would have a whole bunch of crap to clear up. Better to silence it now.

"It can't be that bad." She tried to comfort Sayla.

No use.

"It is!" Sayla stomped the floor, sending three more books along with the first book flying into the air. She took a deep breath as the books crashed back down to the floor. "They, frankly, are crap."

"Sayla, don't overreact-"

"I am not! You read it!"

"Fine." Kyouka lost her patience and stalked over to the table, picking up the first book. Sayla left the room. "I need to gouge my eyes out, then get some therapy."


End file.
